And the seasons change once again
So, yesterday I saw that the trees are slowly turning yellow in my neighborhood. That can only mean one thing. It's time for fall soon.
I'm a university student, and fall means lectures, exams, and lots and lots of parties. It also means that a lot of new people arrive at the campus and I'll have to meet them, talk to them and possibly make new friends. That sounds fun, doesn't it? It should, but to be honest, I really don't feel like it.
During the summer I've gotten used to peace, quiet evenings at home and socializing at my own pace. I like meeting up with my friends, going for relaxed walks and spending the rest of the evening on someone's couch, laughing and talking about stupid and useless stuff. In theory, school starting next month shouldn't change anything at all, but in practise I know it will. My friends are social. They love meeting new people. They spend time with those new people, making sure they feel welcome in our city and our university. It's sweet of them, but for me it means either loneliness or having to participate in more partying than I'd like to. Who knows what this fall will bring, but as of now I don't feel quite ready for leaving the freedom of a slow summer behind. Rather, I'd like the past few months to continue for at least one more.
School won't be the only change next month - I'll be moving to a new apartment. It's not far away, but moving is hard regardless. My current apartment holds many memories. It has been my first own apartment, my first personal, safe space. My family helped me move in, but they won't be here to help me move out - they live too far away. Somehow, it feels like I'll be more disconnected from them in the new apartment. It's hard, somehow. It's difficult to explain.
But that's not all. Because I'm looking to adopt a cat.
I've had a cat before, for my whole life, actually. She passed away last year, at the amazing age of 17, after being with me since I was only 4 years old. I miss her, but I've slowly decided that it might be time to move on. I want to offer a home to a homeless cat, save someone from an animal shelter, love a cat with my whole heart again. That's why I'm moving to begin with - to an apartment that let's me own pets, and it even has a glass covered balcony so the cat can get some fresh air. Everything is going to be perfect...
...Well, maybe not perfect, because owning a rescue can be hard, it will take time to build trust. But I miss the presence of a cat, little meows, the frustrating sound of those little claws clawing at my couch. So even if my evenings won't be filled with friends and late night talks about life, it could be filled with a little furry animal exploring their new home, watching birds from the balcony, hiding under the furniture, playing with their little toys.
I have an odd tendency to focus on the negative changes and forget about the new possibilities life is offering. I know this fall will be great. Maybe it won't be identical with this summer, but that doesn't mean it should be expected to be bad. I won't have the same apartment, but having a new apartment means I can have a new friend with me. And perhaps meanwhile my friends will befriend new people that I will get to befriend too one day - at my own pace.
ᯓ✧ Anon